Why feedback is a personal attack

This doesn't say throw hands, but if you can then you should.

It has been ages since I wrote last and during that period of my brief hiatus the ever daunting reality of being in a leadership position haunts me even more. Well firstly, I didn’t expect to be doing a lot of process, design thinking and operations work. I just wanted to do strategy and execute. I wanted to just…work.

What I didn’t get was that the more work I will be doing now has more effect on the business and its bottom line than ever before. Sure a year ago I would’ve been given KPIs to reach and smash then see how that’s reflected on the fiscal year’s report, this time the game is changed and I feel like I’m a 45 year old man who doesn’t understand “what kids do on the TikTok” these days.

So, feedback… hurts doesn’t it? LMAO of course it should. You spent hours punching and dragging away on your computer only to see comments on your work that leave you butchered and knackered for the whole week. I can relate. A lot. For me, I have a management that is always willing to give more context, direction and clarity on the way to approach work when I present absolute dogshit to them— after I have been roasted at the stake of course. For many it’s not the same, because they get what is generally termed as “wicked and heartless” feedback simply because it is often devoid of emotion and doesn’t express an understanding of the amount of work that was put into doing what you (and maybe your team) did.

True, and let me not get started on the feedback clients give…

But here’s a question for you:

“do you think money or the market cares about your emotions?”

Think about that for a minute.

Alright now that’s a bit of a bummer after such a cute start right? But that’s the painful truth. Giving feedback with empathy is a skill; you on the other hand should consider how much patience your manager can have if after the third revision you’re still producing shit work. Time counts and time they say…
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying everyone shouldn’t learn it what I’m saying is in the event where the success and/or failure of the business is dependent on the quality of YOUR work being done, you will see why one will expect the best work.

Another example: consider the situation where your pay is directly linked to how well you performed. At the end of each month a rating is done; if you did exceptionally well you get a bonus and if you didn’t, you don’t get full pay.

Haha, I saw that frown. I do have a remedy for it, overcoming terrible feedback. Two, actually.
a) Do the work well enough to give you more room to lazy about and chase your other hobbies.
b) Take it as revenge, when sending in the next revised deliverable.

That way you can be lazy in peace, enjoy a “gotcha” moment or even have both!
So if you ever feel the feedback you got is a personal attack next time chest it, consider everything in this piece and until you have checked every box, can you proceed to throw hands.

Sayounara.
Kalu.